We all want to be satisfied with our lives, but achieving that state can be difficult because life never allows us to reach a high point (or even a low point) and then stop. Life has a way of continuing because that is what life does. It continues. That being said, there are elements that—when present in our lives—increase our satisfaction with living.

First, we as individuals must be competent. Competency is the ability to do something well. Real competency takes time to develop. It requires study, practice, and persistence. Note that this is at odds with instant gratification. Please note also that even quick Internet searches are built on someone’s earlier competence, which required all of the above.

Second, we need to feel autonomous. We must be able to make real choices that affect our future. Take away our right to choose, and we feel we have little freedom. This does not mean simply voting. It means choosing which direction you wish to go, what you wish to do, and what you wish to think.

Lastly, we need to feel close to others. We need non-toxic, supportive, and affectionate relationships.

Given the presence of all three, life is good.

Beware of those people, places, and situations that reduce any of the above.

As an additional observation, growing older helps.

Put in enough time, and we’ve made enough mistakes to recognize “too good to be true”. Pass a certain age, and we realize it was never about us, and frankly we realize that we are old enough not to need permission. Lastly, we can grow closer to others without hormones getting in the way.

As I said, life is good.